Sadly, this is not my current view. A matter of perspective, I suppose, but for whatever reason, I can find rainy days a lot more tolerable if they are beautifully framed by romantic old buildings and cobblestones. The summer here, in the Canadian Prairies, has been a bit of a wash-out so far-forcing us to reevaluate plans and making it more difficult for me to find the motivation to get the stuff done that seemed so easy while I was away from here. I have had a lot of discouragement these days. Not to sound overly negative, this summer has been a bit of a struggle for me. But in those struggles, I am trying to find lessons. I believe a lot of my disappointment in the weather, and as a consequence, in the slower business/money situation, is a result of expectations, of looking a bit too far ahead and assuming that everything would be the same as last summer when the weather was near perfect and the money came easy. Don’t get me wrong, we are doing just fine and are very fortunate in the money we have made so far, but we have had many days where we have been rained out.
Some of my other struggles are a bit more psychological. I am tackling these by focusing on a mindfulness practice, focusing on the now and finding appreciation in small things: a cup of tea, the beauty of the rain and the birds in the backyard, my little garden that thrives despite the weather.
As my man has told me, whatever money we do end up making, and whatever we do end up doing, it will be wonderful, as it always is. We have never taken a leap that hasn’t worked out in the end. There are lessons even in the small mistakes. Whatever we are doing now, is going to lead up to whatever it is that we will be doing. A little over a week ago, I attended a book reading/signing by Lama Marut. He is a new author to me, and I came across him just by seeing a poster on a telephone pole: a western man, in buddhist robes. His book sounded intriguing and I’m always interested in a western perspective on how to incorporate Buddhism into our daily lives. One thing he said really caught my attention. He told the audience to look at our lives 5 years ago. Did we ever imagine that we would be where we are today, or imagine that all the things that occurred, would occur? Most people shook their heads no. We have no way of knowing what will come ahead of us. Then he explained a philosophy I have heard before, but that I often forget: if there is something about your life that you don’t like and you can change it, change it. If you have something about your life that you can’t change, don’t worry about it, because you can’t change it. We don’t know what our future will bring no matter how much planning, trying, managing, purchasing, organizing we do. Often easier said than done, but wise words.