As for my daily sitting practice, I’m still plodding along although not yet daily. My brain is just as scattered but I do get the odd moment of stillness. What the biggest change has been so far, that I can only attribute to meditation are the moments of mindfulness that I’m having during my day, not during meditation.
One big change is I’m finding myelf being more conscious of small moments and noticing them more and I’m trying to a more mindful eater as well. I sually read when I eat which totally takes away from the conscious act of eating. If I’m reading something, I’m not really even aware of what I’m eating which is strange for someone like me who likes food as much as I do! So I’m going to try to focus on the act of eating more and have more moments of JUST eating. I’m also finding (and this is so early stages so don’t get too excited!) that I’m having a slight amount of more consciousness in my reactions to things, which in particular is affecting my sometimes tendancy towards reactionary speech. Again, early stages, but sometimes when I feel myself getting riled up about something or getting agitated with M which may lead to an bickering or an argument, I’ve been able to pull back, not say anything and notice how I’m feeling. I’ve been able to say to myself: “Okay, this is obviously pissing you off-why is that, etc.” Usually it’s not about what we are talking about at all. Sometimes I am grumpy for some totally other reason! Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it is because of something he has said (hah hah!) but I can sometimes choose my reaction if I remain conscious of the feelings I”m having. Okay, that’s a lot of “sometimes” but I want to make clear that this is the very beginnings of a seed of something and I’m not claiming to have the answer to all or anything like that!
But anyway, it’s fantastic! It’s like free therapy! I find myself highlighting many passages in her book which I’m sure I’ll come back to later. I don’t always have the time for a 20 minute sit but sometimes I’ll just take advantage of some moments during the day.