Well here I am, having moved away from my job and friends and everything else and slowly settling into life as much as one can be settled living out of a few bags with everything in boxes. We said goodbye to our apartment and left at the end of last month!
What a funny life I have chosen for myself! Life without full time employment has afforded me many luxuries I had taken for granted. I have had some great bike rides along the river and have been soaking up all the new sights and sounds and smells of summer. Pelicans in the river, endless sheets of clouds and amazing lilacs everywhere!
There are flowers everywhere!
Speaking of flowers, I have to share these photos I took at Granville Island. I was waiting for J about a week before I left Vancouver, and came across these massive bouquets of lilies, peonies and orchids. There were a few “do not touch-for wedding” signs around. My photos do not do these arrangements justice:
I have been spending time trying to rediscover who I am. The past few years have basically been taken up with keeping up the routine, the work and the bills and the same stuff everyday. I found that I really lacked inspiration most of the time. I have never been able to understand the people who made all their dreams materialize while holding down a full time job, having children, belonging to whatever groups and whatever else. I found it difficult at times to even find the will to “fill my well” so to speak. So now I am here and after a few weeks I finally feel like I am going to be able to put some ideas out there soon and start on some crafty like projects. Although my mind isn’t quite focused yet as to what I want to do because right now I am so excited, I want to do everything! I think I need to order some fabric and I feel like some sewing projects might be coming on. I am making a bit of a brainstormed list in my journal of ideas and hopefully things will crystallize a bit as I get a bit more focused and settled.
Once again I am finding, as I do when I travel, that when you take away all the things that you use to place yourself in a context, you are basically left with yourself, staring back at you. No job, no friends around close at hand, no “stuff”-just you-stuck with yourself. It’s an uncomfortable feeling at first, but I am looking forward to spending time with myself and making friends with myself again. Pema Chodron says that to get to know yourself is to forget yourself. Or that the boundaries between yourself and other people start to dissolve. We become not so self involved. It’s an interesting paradox. Getting to know yourself so that you can forget yourself. You can read more about that in her book, The Wisdom of No Escape and a little bit more here. I know I for one still have a lot to learn on this topic.